My roommate and I decided to bake cookies for the Iraqi family on our floor and our boabs (doormen). We made the batter together and I baked the cookies. While I was baking, our landlord Ms. Zeinab came by. She was with a few men who needed to install the wiring for the new Internet system that will service all the apartments. I invited everyone in and offered cookies. Everyone politely declined, as is customary, but I didn’t feel like doing two more offerings because I had a full assembly line going in the kitchen (as with most North African countries, everyone declines an offering of food the first two times and then accepts on the third).

I returned to the dining room later and offered again. Ms. Zeinab was surprised to learn that I actually baked the cookies, shocked in fact. She had a similar reaction when she discovered I did my own laundry. Maybe Americans have appeared lazy in the past or too prideful to cook and clean? If anyone seems lazy it’s Egyptians! I’ve met many Egyptian women who don’t work or have kids, but have cooks and maids. They even call them servants. I find joy in taking care of myself, however. Nonetheless, this time she gladly accepted the cookie and enjoyed it thoroughly. The electricians still declined and unfortunately for them, I wasn’t in the mood to push.

Ms. Zeinab’s really interesting reaction came when I told her we were baking the cookies for the boabs. She looked at me like I was crazy. Apparently we are just supposed to treat them like workers and nothing else. In my opinion however, they are sweet men who look after me. They always harass anyone who comes to see me, especially my male friends, and it makes me feel safe. Whenever we come home with groceries they insist on carrying them to our door, even if it’s only two bags. I understand that it’s their job and I pay them monthly, but I also believe there is a certain level of chivalry that is not dead in Egypt. I am from Louisiana and therefore a society where chivalry is not dead. When I moved out west to California I was so disappointed at the way women were treated. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a feminist, however men and women should respect each other and one way to do that is chivalry. What do you think?

One last note on servants in Egypt: my good friend lives in Zamalek in a pretty nice building. The owners of the building also live there and one day my friend, who speaks beautiful Arabic, went over to their home. She was surprised and saddened to discover that they have a “servant girl” at the tender age of 12. Apparently poor families, especially farming families, in Upper Egypt send their daughters to the city to work while their sons work on the farm. She sees none of the money for it is sent to her family. She is also not allowed to speak and she cooks, cleans, and takes care of her bosses’ kids. My heart ached to hear this tale. I know American children who are 12 and the thought of them working as a servant without a friend in the world is grueling.